Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Skinny Bitch: This book makes me feel like I'm on crazy pills

Sphere: Related Content Last year I bought this book with the intention that I would become what the title suggests.

Maybe I'd go a little easy on the "bitch" part of it.

Maybe not.

It didn't work out and I left the book to rot on my bookshelf.

I cracked it open again yesterday to see if maybe I read it wrong the first time. Nope, same old bullshit.

The book is like a really hot chick who all the guys are intrigued by until she opens her mouth to reveal she is a freaky nut job. The reaction is the same as well: Avoid eye contact and bolt like a bat outta hell!

When I started to crack the book open the first time, I grew excited at the thought of "skinny" things like itty-bitty bikinis, tiny Marc Jacobs dresses, skinny jeans,ordering water with lemon in it instead of a chocolate milkshake and those really big shades the Olson Twins always wear.

OK so maybe I'm glad this book was written in the Twilight Zone.

This book is nothing but demeaning insults and vegan propaganda from start to finish. The tone is flippant and the content is misleading.

So here's the book in a nutshell:

"Wanna look like a model? Of course you do you lazy cow. Now get off your ass, exercise and don't eat any meat whatsoever. Or processed foods. Oh and no alcohol, caffeine, artificial sweeteners, dairy, meat or refined sugar. By the way you are terrible for eating meat and here is why...Here is a list of unaffordable foods you can only buy at Whole Foods. Maybe. OK so you should totally be a model by now."


Now I'm all for saving animals. I have two cats that I actually talk to and treat like children. I once watched a PETA video on the horrors of chickens and cows going to slaughter. I didn't eat meat for an entire week.

In the end, I love meat and had to get my protein on. I can't help it that I'm a steak and potatoes kinda gal. Do I agree with the methods of how my Big Mac gets on my plate? No. Would I eat free-range animals if they were offered? Yes. Am I human? Yes.

Furthermore, did I purchase a book for $14 dollars entitled "Skinny Bitch" expecting to be lectured about my carnivorous ways on the sneak tip? Hell nah.

Needless to say, I've been shedding some pounds the good old fashion way. Hard drugs. No really, I owe it all to exercise and eating proper portions.

Maybe I'll never be a "Skinny Bitch," but I'll also never be a psychotic, vegan, zealot either so I guess it all balances out right?

(BTW, no offense to vegans/vegetarians/fruitarians who aren't insane. I respect your lifestyle choice. I've tried soy chicken nuggets. They were yummy. I've had a garden burger or two in my day. I'm just not ready to try tofurky though. Wheat gluten and tufu can't excite me like a thanksgiving bird can.)

Visit the Skinny Bitch website, and feel the crazy for yourself.

2 comments:

Ana B. said...

I was gonna get that book until like you I realized those chicks were all kinds of crazy. I like vegans but I don't think I have to be one to be thin. And we all know models diet up the nose j/k

Choice bit of Calico said...

ana b: I'm glad you saved your money! I heard this book peaked when Victoria Beckham was seen carrying it around. Seriously, what would have happened if she was carrying a book about doing crack?